So i have told you guys in spankoland that i keep this side of me private in my every day life...well at least i thought i did a good job of that...but something that happened towards the end of work yesterday has me wondering...i work in a shop type place where the guys come in in the morning and i send them out to different locations to make repairs and such...so i usually only see them in the morning...since there is only one other female who works with me in the office through out the day and our office/shop isn't located in the best neighborhood we keep the office doors locked...it is great to ignore people knocking on the locked glass door looking at me to open it and not having to let them in....sooooo anyways one of the guys had to come back to the office yesterday towards the end of the day to bring me some mullah and i saw him pull up....so i got up to unlock the door for him...as he was walking in behind me he took his metal storage clipboard box thingy and whacked me across the ass with it pretty hard...i was shocked and my only response was HEYYYYYYYYYYY...to which his response was "you know you like it"....now i don't know if he at some point saw a window open on my computer or something and knows about my spanking kink or if he just took as shot in the dark...but i am a bit worried about it...i just like this side of my life to be private and not have my coworkers all know about it...and even if i wasn't in love and going to spend the rest of my life with the old man this guy would never ever be a possibility...he is a sleazy old man...i like my old man way better....so i am not sure what i should do next...should i just pretend it never happened...i am not really worried about this guys opinion...one of the first stories i was told about him was about the time a chick tied him up naked in a motel room for some sex play, started a fire while smoking some drugs and left him tied up in the burning motel room for the firemen and police to find....so we are talking about a guy who must have a lot of kinks...i am more worried about #1 him telling anyone else #2 him thinking i want him in any way #3 him thinking i want to talk about my sex life with him...sooooooooooo do i just ignore it and if he brings it up act stupid or do i bring it up first and set some kind of boundaries or do i just wait for him to bring it up and act like it is no big deal...i am kind of leaning that way just because i think if i make it a big deal either by acting stupid like i don't know what he is talking about or bringing it up first he is going to zero in on it and make it a huge deal to get under my skin...let me know what you think
That doesn't sound good, especially from someone so creepy. Be careful.
ReplyDeleteHun, I've been sexually harassed before, and that's what this is. I work with a bunch of guys in an environment not dissimilar from yours (and I've actually done a job quite similar to what you describe as well, although I don't work there any more) and I don't think it has anything to do with him knowing anything about you. I've been swatted before too, and I'm not into spanking. "You know you like it," is supposed to be a joke, or a come-on, not an expression of knowledge.
ReplyDeleteThat said, it's tough to find a way to deal with it, and by deal, I mean ensure that it doesn't affect things. You can't ignore it, but you also don't want to be the bitch of the office, so to speak, so you can't call him on it in a way which makes you seem like an outsider. You don't want to make it seem like it bothers you, because then you're right, he'll zero in on it because it gets under your skin. But you also don't want to tolerate it because then it may escalate. It's not an easy situation.
I've had to prove, time and again, that I was just as good at what I do as the guys, and once they respect me, I can allow a little joking around (after all, I make jokes at their expense too). But it's always a danger that joking around becomes more serious. Because of my relationship with the guys I work with, I tend to be able to call them on it (although it's almost as hard to do that as it is to tell a woman she looks ugly in a dress; who says gals are the only touchy people). If you can't do that... I think you might have to lay down the law and risk being seen as a bitch by this guy, especially since you said you didn't care what he thought.
Or you could spank him back next time. Swing for the fences, and do it with something painful, and maybe he'll get the hint.
But the upside of this is that, as I said, I don't know that it means anything about his knowledge of your private life. Men swat women's asses (well, some do, and some don't, and some of those who do only do it because the woman asks them to, but the rest are dicks). It's like being pinched, or leered at. If a random guy gooses me in the subway or something, that doesn't mean that he knows I enjoy public fingering, for instance. It means he's a jackass. This guy seems like he's probably just a jackass, which raises its own problems, but not necessarily the one you're most worried about in this post.
Sorry, that was long. We're pulling for you, girl.
It was harrassment.... sexual.
ReplyDeleteIf he does it, or another harassing thing, call him out on it for waht it is.
Other than that... let it go.
Make a note of it. Date, time a short narative of the event and file it so you have all the facts. How much cash he brought in. Who the customer was. How long you were with him alone.
Don't spend time with him alone in the office either.
I am a lawyer and I represent women who are sexually harrassed. His behavior was entirely out of line. You have every right to confront him. I read your update and see that you are probalby not going to mention it. Even if he did read your column, so what? He has absolutely no right to treat you that way. My advice is to tell him and cut his bullshit off at the pass.
ReplyDeleteI agree - harassment! Don't let him get by with it! Meow
ReplyDelete